The part of us that holds a conditioned belief is not going to give it up willingly. A part -- in this case the part of you that holds beliefs about selfishness, about who is and who isn't selfish, about what does and does not constitute selfish behavior -- will cling to an identification with your conditioning -- not in spite of the suffering created by those beliefs, but because of the suffering created by those beliefs. This is a perfect example of the world of conditioned illusion, or delusion. The stage is set: Life is this way, people should be this way, people who are the way they should be are good and will be rewarded, people who are not the way they should be are bad and will be punished. It may sound familiar -- but none of it was ever true.
"I don't understand how my seeing their lack of care (selfishness, which is proven in a reality check) makes me selfish." Ah, the subtleties. First of all, was there a reality check? Consulting our conditioned views for verification of our conditioned views and getting a verification is not a reality check. The critical piece we have to grasp is that our conditioned view of the world is simply our conditioned view of the world. We can find others whose views are the same, but that just means our conditioning is the same; it doesn't mean that we're right or that our view is "true." (emphasis mine)
"I see a person as selfish." Well, where does that idea come from? It comes from my conditioned standard of selfishness. That person's behavior doesn't meet my standard, that's all.
Cheri Huber
How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be
2000, Hay House
Saturday, July 17, 2010
On Conditioning
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3 comments:
Amazingly insightful as most of us forget that we are evaluating others by our own standards and these vary greatly. I find it slightly bizarre when I see complete strangers trying to force their “conditioning” on others or even myself.
Selfishness will always win over altruism, as there is little reward for doing so. This falls under the “no good deed goes unpunished” rule of thumb. Your blog is amazing and brilliant. Thank you so much for posting this.
Why, thank you, CC! I am merely posting others' words that speak to me each day. I'm sure I am violating all kinds of copyrights by doing it, but if it is helpful for now, I'm glad. You shoulda seen what went on over here before I turned it into my own personal zen garden. It was all flamethrowers and IED's, let me tell you!
Apropos of nothing: I used to live in Breckenridge.
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